6months/24weeks and coming up on October 17th

Well here we are at 6 months and I'm somewhat in disbeleif. So much so, that I am extremely paranoid. Last night at work I squatted to do something, which I won't do again by the way, and I had a little "accident". Well I didn't know for sure it was an "accident", so being an over-protective mother-to-be I called my doctor. I'm really lucky to have a doctor who is extremely accessible to me and I was on the phone with him within minutes. I decided at that point in time I didn't want to go running to the hospital because I have a weak bladder. So he told me to meet him at his office in the morning(this morning) just to reassure me.

I'm glad to say every thing is fine she just finds my bladder to be very cushiony and she's getting bigger, Depends here I come! On the up side I got to see her in the ultrasound again, and she is still a she. We still go back to the Drs on Oct. 23rd. I'm going to try to leave my doctor alone until at least then, not that he makes me feel bad in fact he encourages me to call with any concerns no matter how small. Thank God we found this guy, even though it was in the midst of such a sad time, during our first pregnancy.

I am extremely excited at this time but we are also coming up on October 17th. For most people this day will come and go, unless there is something special like an anniversary or a birthday. However we will be in a quiet mourning for our little ones who were originally to be with us at this time. I know they were only 10 weeks in the making but they were already imbedded in our hearts. Maybe that is the reason for my uneasiness right now.

I know I am blessed at this time and I won't complain as I heard so often in that time that it was meant to be, and maybe it was, but then that means my tears were meant to be and so is the love and longing that I feel for them. So if you would on October 17th please think of Tim, I, and our little ones that would have been here with us. As well as Ava while we wait for her.